"Just" A Stay Home Mom

“Just a stay home mom”, say that to my sister in law and you are likely to get an earful, and I dare say I agree.  There is really no such thing as “Just” a stay home mom, what we do encompasses so much more. Without going into the litany of things we are responsible for doing I will say it’s pretty thankless much of the time.

Somehow our society has evolved to a point where parenting and homemaking are regarded as less than important, because you can't put a dollar value on those things can you?  Spending your days scraping something sticky off the kitchen floor with your thumbnail (trying hard not to contemplate what it might be) while simultaneously arguing with your teen about his plans for the weekend and explaining to your elementary school child…”yes, it’s ok to wear miss matched socks today, I am behind on laundry”.  The toast is burning, and each child is wanting something different in their lunch. Plus, they hate each other and are on the verge of boxing most of the time.

 And this is before your day gets going in earnest.

There is no pay raise, (HA! There is no pay at all!) No health benefits, social stimulation or peer recognition. Before you get all envious of being able to stay home, think about the stigma our social structure has put on this position. I have even heard my very own child say to me “why don't you get a real job mom”. That stung. Parroting back the negative messages he picked up from god knows where, regarding what it means to be someone who is not gainfully employed. (Apparently my little cottage industry I engage in to make ends meet doesn’t have much value either.) And before you start in on how rewarding it is, take in consideration, depression and unhappiness is higher in stay at home moms than working mothers or women without children.  http://www.gallup.com/poll/154685/stay-home-moms-report-depression-sadness-anger.aspx

Is it because of the work? Are children that terrible? Is vacuum cleaning so horribly offensive? The fact that our job has no end and beginning?  I think not. It’s almost purely the lack of support from our dollar obsessed society, and lack of social stimulation and respect.   It is because it is “Thankless”.

I love my children, I love my domestic inspirations, when everything is order I feel accomplished, but I am not “just a stay home mom” I am more than that, I have an entire life outside of being domestic, personal dreams and desires, which are often sacrificed for my family and home, and all I ask for is what everyone really wants…A little respect. So please, with mother’s day right around the corner, thank your local stay at home mom, she will appreciate it.