Cry Me A River

Columbia River photographed by Randy Handorff

I don't know why this is heavy on my mind, but for some reason I have been thinking a lot about grief this week.  I even wrote a poem which I rarely do.

I feel like the root feeling of grief is the same for almost everyone, a clawing at your chest, a lump in your belly, shortness of breath, tears stinging your eyes, your throat closes up and you just feel like weeping. It just varies in intensity with the depth of whatever is causing you to grieve in the first place.

You can grieve for an hour, a day, weeks, etc…depending on the significance of your loss. Regardless, it hurts.

But I also believe it has a purpose, I don't think you can make peace with your personal tragedy or move on with your life without a proper grieving period. I think you stall where you are until you can mourn properly.  It’s like a purge of sorts, it will stay all balled up in there making you feel like, well…shit. Until you let it out and allow it to wash over you.  A cleansing of the spirit if you will.

“I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien

As I contemplated all of this, I had a couple of friends whom had things happen to them this week causing them grief in their lives, I had written a poem, and as I said before I rarely do, I know next to nothing about poetry other than sometimes it moves me when I read a good one. I don't know about style, content, composition… seriously, nothing. So I NEVER share. But I'm going to buck up and share this time because perhaps it is needed by someone.  Maybe even just me.  It’s probably not very good, but it is basically just an emotional from- the -gut sort of thing.  So here it is for what it’s worth.

Grief

Warm tears tracing a winding path down my cheek

Heart seized, aching, pounding in my chest

Breath short, catching in my throat

Sorrow breaking me into sharp and jagged pieces

Breathing in, breathing out

Slowly purging away my misery

Hope begins to lift my spirit

Broken places begin to mend

Grief begins to give back what it has taken

Strips me down to my very bones

Builds me back with courage and grace

I am better, stronger now than before

Whole, renewed, scared and beautiful