A Letter to My Sons

This is a letter to my sons. They are both my greatest gift, and an infinite challenge. I know I have guided them thus far to best of my ability, taught them what I can, sometimes failed them, and always loved them.

First Born

My first born-

Tender hearted, analytical, and quickly developing a quick wit. You are emotional, cry, anger, and laugh easily. You are ceaselessly loyal. You are a devoted friend and you have a strong sense of right and wrong. You love quickly and easily, just like your father. You love the constructs of rules and guidelines just like me. You watch from the sidelines, carefully taking in your surroundings. You consider cautiously your next move. You are careful, and kind and compassionate. You are curious and silly when you feel safe. You are the type of person people will count on; people will turn to you when they need someone with common sense. You are not rash or bold, but contemplative and thoughtful.  And I love you so much it makes my heart hurt.

Second Born

My second born-

You are silly! And full of laughter and mischievousness. You will do whatever it takes to elicit laughter, including dancing around the house in my red high heels. You have unarguable logic, that you mostly use to your advantage, but have an innate ability to know when someone needs your comfort. You argue, analyze, and refuse to accept “just because” like your mother. You love to push boundaries, seek thrills and excitement just like your dad. You sing, you dance, you are joyful and irreverent. You are kind and generous, always willing to help and share. People will always be entertained in your presence.  And I love you so much it makes my heart hurt.  

Lovers Reverie

My lovers’ weighty head rest upon the fullness of my breast

My heart beats warmly within the depths of my chest

I breathe it in the smell of him and him the smell of me

The two of us adrift together in a lovers' sea

The memory of our entanglements and of our hot embrace  

Fades away unhurriedly as united the morn we face.

True Romance

Happy obligatory romance month everyone!

I know, that sounds pessimistic, I am a romantic at heart, really I am. But Valentine’s Day has always seemed to bring out my sarcastic snarky side. To me it is a prime example of our nations consumerism. I do not want my romance bought and sold on the open market to the highest bidder. It feels cheap, and well…obligatory.  There is nothing romantic about obligation. Romance comes in small moments, thoughtfulness, and gestures that say “I love you” or “I thought of you.” That is not saying flowers, wine and chocolate by a crackling fire aren't romantic, they very much are. It’s about delivery.  It means so much more when it comes from “because I love you” than, “because on this day I’m supposed to.”  The best gift is to love truly. To love truly is to take risk, risking your heart; to let someone in. To fully invest your heart in another person, in and of itself is a gift.

My husband loves this, takes the pressure off him for finding the “perfect gift for your loved one.” He knows what the perfect gift is. Those gifts come in special moments shared together, a heart shaped rock found on the beach, a cup of coffee in bed on a Saturday morning, a pretty potted flower brought home for no other reason than he saw it and thought of me. He’s always been quite charming that way.  I try to follow suit, but I am inept compared to him. I bring him a beer while he soaks in the tub, surprise him with one of his favorite meals, or color a silly handmade card.

Ironically, it’s Valentine’s Day we mark the passing of our years together. This year it will be twenty! Crap I’m getting old. Twenty years ago on Valentine’s Day he brought me a single red rose and bashfully asked if I would be his valentine. How could I possibly resist? (I told you, I really am a romantic). So for me it does mark an event of importance after all.

Valentine’s Day does however get me reflecting on love, and what it is. It comes is so many forms and encompasses so many things it's hard to believe one little word is enough to describe it.  Compassion, caring, adoration, tenderness, admiration, longing, joy, the list goes on. When you tell someone you love them you are saying so many things. “I care for you, your happiness is important to me; I want to be near you.”   Try thinking about that next time you say I love you, it’s pretty amazing.

All you lovers out there, don’t confine your love to one day, or give too much importance to how society proclaims it should be expressed; or to whom, you know in your heart what should be done. Love whoever you love without reservations, risk your heart, and embrace love.  Love your loves every day, in all the small ways that are so important. Do silly things for just the two of you, the little things that make your love unique.  Let your heart guide you in matters of love.

I like to remember all my loves on Valentine’s Day, for me it's not just about romance but about love in all of its forms. I am sending love to my friends my family, and all the people who touch my heart. I trust you know I love you through my actions.

Happy heart day everyday!