I know, that sounds pessimistic, I am a romantic at heart,
really I am. But Valentine’s Day has always seemed to bring out my sarcastic
snarky side. To me it is a prime example of our nations consumerism. I do not
want my romance bought and sold on the open market to the highest bidder. It
feels cheap, and well…obligatory. There
is nothing romantic about obligation. Romance comes in small moments,
thoughtfulness, and gestures that say “I love you” or “I thought of you.” That is
not saying flowers, wine and chocolate by a crackling fire aren't romantic, they
very much are. It’s about delivery. It
means so much more when it comes from “because I love you” than, “because on
this day I’m supposed to.” The best gift
is to love truly. To love truly is to take risk, risking your heart; to let
someone in. To fully invest your heart in another person, in and of itself is a gift.
My husband loves this, takes the pressure off him for
finding the “perfect gift for your loved one.” He knows what the perfect gift
is. Those gifts come in special moments shared together, a heart shaped rock
found on the beach, a cup of coffee in bed on a Saturday morning, a pretty potted
flower brought home for no other reason than he saw it and thought of me. He’s
always been quite charming that way. I
try to follow suit, but I am inept compared to him. I bring him a beer while he
soaks in the tub, surprise him with one of his favorite meals, or color a silly
handmade card.
Ironically, it’s Valentine’s Day we mark the passing of our
years together. This year it will be twenty! Crap I’m getting old. Twenty years
ago on Valentine’s Day he brought me a single red rose and bashfully asked if I
would be his valentine. How could I possibly resist? (I told you, I really am a
romantic). So for me it does mark an event of importance after all.
Valentine’s Day does however get me reflecting on love, and
what it is. It comes is so many forms and encompasses so many things it's hard to
believe one little word is enough to describe it. Compassion, caring, adoration, tenderness, admiration,
longing, joy, the list goes on. When you tell someone you love them you are
saying so many things. “I care for you, your happiness is important to me; I
want to be near you.” Try thinking
about that next time you say I love you, it’s pretty amazing.
All you lovers out there, don’t confine your love to one
day, or give too much importance to how society proclaims it should be
expressed; or to whom, you know in your heart what should be done. Love whoever
you love without reservations, risk your heart, and embrace love. Love your loves every day, in all the small
ways that are so important. Do silly things for just the two of you, the little
things that make your love unique. Let
your heart guide you in matters of love.
I like to remember all my loves on Valentine’s Day, for me it's not just about romance but about love in all of its forms. I am sending love to my
friends my family, and all the people who touch my heart. I trust you know I love you
through my actions.
Happy heart day everyday!
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